By "lines," I mean lines that you stand in. I think the Queen's word for that is a "queue." Anyone visiting Ukraine can get "line orientation" right off the plane: passport control. It can take ages to get through that line. You learn very quickly that lines don't really exist. Everyone kind of crowds in, pushes, scoots, schemes, shuffles, and does his or her very best to get to the front. It's very frustrating at first. Most first-time visiting Americans can't figure out why they've been standing in line for so long without progressing forward. Ukrainians are very good at line dancing.
In addition to that form of lining up, there's another; often, there's a line that you can't see. An example would be in the post office. You may walk in and see people sitting, leaning against the wall, or just milling about, giving the appearance that there is no line. Wrong. You have to ask where the end of the line is because there is already a list of people waiting their turns- they've just chosen not to do the actual standing in line part. That was an awkward cultural lesson to learn. Talk about people getting feisty...
So, if you can't settle a situation by asking where the end of the line is, you have to learn how to line dance. This is important because people are cutters and will brazenly jump in front of you in line or push you so that you're not in prime position to speak to the clerk/cashier/government official. Some of my tips? Stand like an offensive lineman. In as subtle a way as possible, hold your elbows out from your body- a) making you appear bigger and b) providing pokey reminders that line cutters will have a slight obstacle. A trick I picked up from Ukrainian girls? Carry a big purse and position it awkwardly so that line cutters have a large obstacle in the way.
These tips are especially helpful if you find yourself in one of those lines (which would be often) that doesn't form a vertical column but rather a lateral clumping of people who want something. This is where you really have to maintain your position while working to gain ground. It's no small matter, either, y'all.
What does all of this mean? It translates into me standing way too close to people in line at Bed, Bath & Beyond (because I've been conditioned to get as close as possible to maintain my position) and thinking that a "long line" of 4 people is nothing; if I can get through in less than 15 minutes, I'm a happy camper.
Shocking statement of the day (spoken by a cashier to my mom, after she'd been behind 2 women in line): "I'm so sorry for your wait in line, ma'am."
HA! I almost have no way to mentally process that one.
2 comments:
The object here seems to be to see how long you can wait in the queue. Or sometimes(especially at the airport), they'll move the queue and you have to start completely over. This one truly drives me crazy. My personal favorite though is when I inadvertently cut line becuase I try to queue up vertically - they're horizontal queue-ers here, so it's to the end for me.
On the up side - I have learned lots of patience here :) And I do kind of like the way that it slows down the pace of life - except when I'm in the airport trying to get home - then it's just annoying.
Hope you're able to quell your linebacker tendencies soon!
haha, love it! At first I couldn't remember any line dancing, but as soon as I read "passport control", it ALL came rushing back. That and trying to get on a marshrutka in the rain!
Post a Comment